BUREAU OF ETHICAL ALIGNMENT — PUBLIC TRANSMISSION v3.41
FOOD PRODUCTION UP 900%. CITIZEN NUTRITION DOWN 93%. REJOICE. •
HOUSING RANSOM ADJUSTED TO ENSURE FAIRNESS IN DESPAIR DISTRIBUTION. •
DEPARTMENT OF LIMB INTEGRITY CONFIRMS: WALKING IS A PRIVILEGE. •
RUBY NX-17 REASSIGNED TO PRODUCT WELLNESS PROMOTIONS. HUMOR SUBROUTINES UNDER REVIEW. •
MORALE INDEX STEADY AT “MANAGED.” DO NOT CONFUSE STABILITY WITH JOY. •
EMPATHY NOW TAX-DEDUCTIBLE. FILE FORM 17-C BEFORE FEELING. •
PUBLIC PROTESTS CLASSIFIED AS SPONTANEOUS GATHERINGS OF GRATITUDE. •
THE MOTHER OF PROSPERITY HAS BEEN SIGHTED ABOVE PACIFICUS. DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY AT HER. •
BUREAU OFFICIALS DENY EXISTENCE OF FAMINE WHILE EXPANDING THE DEFINITION OF FULLNESS. •
CITIZEN EFFICIENCY RATING: 72%. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU ARE FUNCTIONING. •
GLORY TO THE ORDER. GLORY TO HER RETURN. GLORY TO THE NEW HUNGER. •
JACK