Slowly, there is change, morphing from the crusted earth that had grown into the body, fusing with every nerve like roots seeking water. The agony of this transformation lasts for one thousand seasons with images of another life haunting, dashing hopes with faint desire. I have been swallowed whole and left only with regret for a forgotten oath. I can feel the mourning of gnarled hands on foreign soil, stretched out across the landscape, as voices scream for justice. The screams, full of terror, have left something foul to rot and it is now seeping into my space. An ancient blood surges through my veins, forming flesh, forcing me into something I had not known before.
Truth is sometimes meant to be forgotten. A careless whisper could inadvertently raise primordial forces of a most sinister and destructive nature. Her shadowy presence is always listening; she has recovered and been lurking in the earth realms spreading chaos. Gradually, she has crept deeper into the veins of society, feeding, and expanding in obscurity. Regrettably, humankind has never been properly guided and remains spiritually unevolved overall: reveling in arrogance; entrenched in ignorance; with gratuitous violence as the norm. The majority stagnate in their monotonous lives focused on greed and selfishness, long fallen into complacency, and are manipulated so effortlessly. The neurotic masses leap blindly into the seductive embrace of the Mother of Darkness, rejoicing in her deceitful whispers of salvation and glory. Her ulterior intentions remain veiled until she inevitably strikes with ruthless brutality and her consummate evil shines through, thus revealing her Truth.
I recall the instant she first reached the surface and sent her dark seed downward to burrow into my being through my innate connection with the humans. Sustained by my curiosity and desire, it rooted, grew, and flourished, tainting my perception and judgment. Her alluring presence beckoned, tempted, then captivated me. I was overcome by an imperative need to behold the force behind those mesmerizing eyes probing the depths. I willingly surrendered to her seduction, and she swallowed me whole, leaving behind a withering regret over my ignored oath.
Suddenly, the utopian world that had sustained me for eons could no longer trust me, and I was expelled. The inner Garden faded and everything familiar fell away. I slipped through dimensions until reaching this one where I was thrust upward through molten rock, breaking through the surface, and tearing it asunder. I rose from the ash to be reborn at the precise moment a troubled man threw himself over the edge of his very last breath. His soul was ripped from the cold grip of death and returned when my spirit broke into what would become my bodily prison. Ancient lineages surging through my veins intertwined with the mortal’s blood, merging my essence with earthly elements. My transformation into raw flesh was unlike anything I had ever experienced or imagined; I physically moved for the first time and felt heavy, burdened by my new limitations. I will never forget my foreboding first breath: a wretched alleyway full of nauseating smells; I nearly vomited.
I immediately rued my decision but quickly became lost in a multilayered labyrinth; I was trapped in an unstable mind governed by addiction and flawed conditioning, and her oppressive presence rendered me even more powerless. Many memories have begun to fracture into fleeting broken images, like dreams from long ago. I am undone… By transforming my celestial body, I have broken my oath, not only to the Universe and others but to you as well. The consequences of which will wreak untold havoc on the cosmic balance: our worlds will drift, break apart, and be destroyed.
I am stricken, my love! Our sworn duty to maintain the harmonious flow through the dimensions bestowed honor and purpose unto our kind. I have been forever changed, and as such, I am unaware if I could even survive in our realm. Yet I must find my way back to you to make amends. I beg your forgiveness. You are my eternal beloved, my only hope to defend our worlds against the darkness. Protect Gaya and await my return. I pray my thoughts to reach you. Prepare yourself, a shadow wave is coming.
Somewhere a man clicks through rejections while assuring his family that things will be OK. He spends his time over coffee getting his unemployment done for another week and wonders when it will stop.
A woman steps off the curb and just misses the cracks below her feet. A blackbird stops chirping just as the garbage truck stops for another pick up. A child is pulled behind a fence slamming the gate into more silence.
We were told not to leave today or the next day or even the next week. We were told to shelter in place. We were told it was pandemic time. Time to sweep over the land where people die, or get sick, protest, or riot.
It is hard to breathe. My reflection is aging. I can’t swallow. I am white.
Johnny began screaming from his crib right at midnight. Linda had just finished the dishes and poured a glass of wine to unwind and look at the news to see what day it is. I went to him.
Pressures from the outside were closing in, becoming heavy. Simple daily tasks could count the steps into averages to squeeze just a little more time. There is an energy present that carries a lot of weight like depression.
Shame for being.
The spider’s web now spans across all of the rafters. Maybe a commune. A ship has slowly entered into view, having floated the first set of locks. Cabbage moths are the new enemy in this isolated state.