Jack’s Kitchen

“Are you tired of feeling bloated? Does it sting when you urinate? Are you getting enough essential vitamins? We are here to help and you will feel like a real man in just weeks for the low price of $19.99. That’s right! If you order now, you will instantly lose ten pounds and feel the best you’ve felt in years! This is not one of those gimmicks the other guys will try to sell you, NO, this is the only product guaranteed not to spoil your trip. Just when you are about to have a little fun and everything goes sideways, we are here to make sure you are ready for her every time. Our state of the art ingredients have been cleverly designed to make you feel incredible! No more bloat from pollution, absolutely – and we mean ABSOLUTELY zero urinary discomfort and delivers the purest testosterone in the world, which means no more embarrassing moments when the moment counts! IT might as well be the miracle pill you’ve always wanted. Order Right Now by calling the number on your screen or swipe your palm now.”

Jack glances at the screen and paces a full circle, “Really? I’ve gotta get the hell outta here.” He turns off the news as he downs the rest of his whisky and heads out the back porch, leaving the lights on as he grabs his coat.